BITTER MEMORIES: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival by Sue Julsen & Gary McCluskey

Author:Sue Julsen & Gary McCluskey [Julsen, Sue & McCluskey, Gary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Biographies & Memoirs, Memoirs, True Crime
Amazon: B009BBSUF6
Publisher: Sue Julsen
Published: 2012-09-14T05:00:00+00:00

Fourteen

1958 – Arizona

Daddy left again and Janet had many men over each night. Some of the men said they preferred an experienced woman, but the ones who liked little girls would give Janet twenty dollars and a bottle of booze.

With Daddy gone more and more, and for longer periods of time, the others had been taking over for me constantly. Sometimes I had no recollection of what happened during the three to six weeks when Daddy was gone—except in nightmares.

The men were getting more frequent, and doing more stuff to my protectors that Ann wouldn’t let me watch. But she always showed me afterwards in the nightmares. She didn’t want me to witness it while it happened, and from the things she had shown me, I’m glad I didn’t have to see it at the time.

It upset me something fierce in the dreams. I’d wake up enraged and crying.

I didn’t totally understand it, but Jean had begun to feel thankful for all the men. She said it was because when men came over they got to come inside, and before the men arrived they got to take a bath.

Thankful or not, I could tell Jean functioned like a robot. She didn’t seem to care what they did to her anymore, but when she hurt too much, Polly, Scottie or Ann took over for her.

They liked it when they got to sleep in my soft bed, and Jean looked forward to Mark coming to see her. He always brought food. He even brought pizza a few times! But Jean felt the best thing about Mark was that she never had to touch him.

Scottie always took care of Mark so she didn’t have to.

The few nights no men came over, Janet kept us tied to the tractor all night, but at least the weather had started to get warmer. Ann said if it wasn’t for being staked out, it would’ve been like camping: lying on hard ground and dealing with mosquitoes.

By morning they had to search for a spot that didn’t itch!

Ann wouldn’t let me be the one Janet staked out anymore. She said it was easier on her and the others than it was for me. I had to appreciate how well she took care of me. Heaven knows, no one else took good care of any of us!

Each time Daddy returned he only stayed for a day or two, then he’d be gone again. At least when he was there, I got three meals and was allowed to watch TV. Janet didn’t get drunk, and no men came around either. I never saw Janet on the phone, so I didn’t know how the men always knew when Daddy had returned.

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